Office Merphology

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Six Laws of Clerical Merphology

1. If there is not a single mistake in business letters, then something will be confused in the mail.


The boss will find the errors in the second copies when he starts reading them.

2. Office equipment that worked flawlessly during the day will break when you come to the office in the evening to use it for your own purposes.

3. A broken car will work great when a mechanic comes to repair it.

4. Envelopes and stamps, which you licked your tongue and unsuccessfully glued to the envelope, will themselves stick to all foreign objects.

5. Vital papers lead their important life, disappearing without a trace from their place.

6. The last one who leaves or gets laid off will be held responsible for all sins - until the next one appears - the same.

Devry's dilemma

If you pressed two keys of the typewriter at the same time, the one that you accidentally pressed will be printed.

Volume filling law

The necessary papers in the portfolio accumulate until they take up all the space allotted for them.


1. To put one more document in the portfolio, you need to put some one out.

2. The document, which is posted in the office today, is urgently required at a business meeting.

3. Until the document is posted, it will not be needed.

Fox's note on bureaucracy

Bureaucracy can overshadow anything.


Never get caught between two bureaucrats.

Second Young's Law

The dead part of the tree is supported by the tree itself.


Just because it's still standing doesn't mean it's alive.

Hofstedt's Labor Market Principle

Clutter breeds jobs.

McKernack's law

Anyone who has not learned anything from past mistakes will definitely repeat them.

Owen's Organizational Deviation Principle

Each organization has a certain number of jobs that need to be filled with incompetent workers.


If one of them quits, they will find another.

Lemma Lipman

People specialize in the area in which they are most incompetent.

Sampling theory

It was at that only moment of the whole day when you sat back in your chair and relaxed, the boss will walk through the office with a round.

Lonegueira's remark

Asking stupid questions is easier than correcting stupid mistakes.

Stranow's law

If you've tried everything and nothing works, try what the boss has to offer.

Brintnall's second law

If you receive two mutually exclusive orders, follow both.

Shapiro's Law on Remuneration

The one who does the least gets the most reward.

Oun's Law for Secretaries

As soon as you sit down for a hot cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will take as long as it takes for the coffee to turn cold.

Dowan's Laws of Slow Motion

1. The better a person knows how to work tirelessly, the less he will be given work.

2. The slower a person works, the fewer mistakes he makes.

Harbor's Law

The deadline for the work is calculated in the week following the week of the last deadline.

Eddie's first law of business

Never negotiate before 10 am and after 16 noon. Until 10 you are full of fear, and after 16 people think that you are desperate.

Checklist of Convenient Office Excuses

1. We always do this.

2. I didn't think you would need it so urgently.

3. This is not my part.

4. Nobody told me to continue this work.

5. I am waiting for approval.

6. How was I to know that this was not right?

7. This is his job, not mine.

8. Wait for the boss to come and ask him.

9. We don't usually make many mistakes.

10. I didn't know it was very important.

11. I'm so busy I just can't do it.

12. It seemed to me that I have already told you about this.

13. I was not hired for this.

Gluck's first law

Whichever direction you turn, entering the elevator, the buttons will always be on the opposite side.

Lynch's law

The elevator will always open after you place the suitcase on the floor.

Fox's note on sycophant

It is always helpful to do something to be a good messenger.


When bad news arrives, try not to be in the office.

Pingtou law

If you do good once, it will become a habit.

Connor's second law

If there is anything highly confidential, it remains in the copier.

Watch the video: phonology and morphology

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